Oh I missed my kids.

I finally got to spend some time on the mountain with the kids. I knew I was missing them but how much I did not realize until that first little one wrapped her arms around me and my heart melted.

I remember when Alora was young and I was expecting Katrina, I was worried because I loved Alora so much and thought she was the best thing in the world that I might not be able to love the new baby as much. Well that was no problem. I fell totally and madly in love with my child and the amazing thing is that I still loved Alora just as much.

Love is like that, there are no limits and you do not run out of love. It is a completely renewable resource and the more you give away the more you have.

This is a very good thing. Because in addition to my two girls I have a few dozen children that I love. Yes I love them, I like them, I feel compassion for them, I want to help them but most of all I love them.

Katrina has this same heart set--I do not know if it is a blessing or a curse. But I would wish nothing changed. I know that we both risk broken hearts with every child, but God can and does bind them up. What is broken he makes whole.


Life can be ironic. I truly believe that it is full of contradictions. To understand the true meaning of sweet we need to taste a little sour, joy is made great by a bit of sorrow, a light is brighter in the dark, great love means great pain. and I have to die to myself to truly live.

How can you love dozens of children, all different, some that are so sweet you just want to hold them all day, some so trying that all you can do is hold them, Some that make you laugh until you cry and others that make you cry until you have to laugh.

I don't understand all of the hows and whys and it really does not matter. I do understand that I have been blessed beyond measure in this world. Why I get to have this wonderful life? I will never know because you can bet I have done nothing to deserve it.





Why did Christ love me so much? Why do I get to live a wonderful life in him? Why do I get to look to an awesome future in heaven? I will never know because you can bet I have done nothing to deserve it.





I love these children and it often comes with a price. I do not mean money. I am talking about a price that I pay for this blessing. Tears, when I see one of my babies lost and sad, feeling like there is no one in the world that loves them, when I see them hungry, eating out of dumpsters, my heart breaks, when they are filthy and wearing little more than rags, it is cold and they are shivering from head to toe my arms cry out to hold them. When they are sick and there is no money for even the simplest medications, their little bodies hot with fevers and their huge brown eyes glassy with pain I hurt to my bones. There is a great price to pay for love and it sometimes involves great pain. But never ever doubt for one second that it is not worth all this and more.


Christ paid a great price of pain for love and he never ever doubts that we are worth it.